Hungry for life 1

I am trying to foster an addiction to the gym. I have been a member for over 2 months now...and thank Jah I have seen the changes (slight as they may be).

I am also trying to get over a relationship with chocolate (the bad-kind, like Reeses peanut butter cups, Hersey's cookies and cream and the oreos in the pantry right now [I can hear them whispering to me] luring me to their blue and white plastic figure].

But seriously, healthy living is something that I am trying very very very hard to make into a lifestyle for myself, my family and friends. Not because I have an obsession with flavourless cooking, hate meat, or an affinity for queer looking fiber based food. Frankly, I love yummy shit...(the four-cheese and mushroom pizza from French Verandah; a nice medium steak with cheesy mashed potatoes on the side; or a good ole rice and peas wid coconut milk swimming in the gravy of the stewed chicken on top, oh geesh and some fry plantain).

But these things are not unhealthy in moderation, but our culture does not preach moderation when it comes to good food.."eat man eat, plenty lef back in de pot."

How many times have we been plied with laden plates from family, friends and even in the homes of strangers, who then insist on seconds and thirds. And some people thrive for such occurences. I am repeatedly fascinated by an uncle whose stomach has the capacity of a giant, inhaling large portions of every dish on the groaning buffet table at family gatherings or the co-workers husband who never fails to embarass her with his singular focus of meeting some unknown Guiness Book of Records standard.

To some extent, my denial of the need for a healthy lifestyle plays back to when I was 14 and I envisioned myself to be the fattest person ever. The depise that I held for my body, mind and soul led to 2 years of self-inflicted abuse (my version was binging and bulimia). I am proudly self-diagnosed and treated and healed from that torture chapter of my life.

After I entered into the self-love phase of my life, I regarded all things addressing my body as being obsessive and having the potential to lead me back to sticking things down my throat to rid myself of the entire packet of Fudge Shoppe that I had snuck into my bedroom. With the exception of a stint with pilates and Atkins in my 2nd and 3rd year in university, I was content to ensure that I didn't outgrow my clothing, at the most. Plus, I may die from something else altogether unrelated to the contents of my plate, my cyncism shrugged at me.

Then I looked at Food Inc. and I have forced myself to look within. My claims of being the independent, assertive woman with a whollistic perspective on life is to naught if I do not force myself to address the things that escape my own comfort zone. Why try to balance work and play if not for a better quality life? Then why should food be dismissed from the line-up of target goals?

So this is my new compulsion...I read label voraciously and I have bookmarked too many sites on healthy eating and living. I'll admit easily, that I do shrug the bells in my head at times, like when I ate that almond snickers last weekend or the crap at my desk because the files were piled high. But the overall goal remains the same...try not to do anything to myself that would harm me in anyway. Let someone else have that task.