Monday, March 29, 2010

Hungry for life 1

I am trying to foster an addiction to the gym. I have been a member for over 2 months now...and thank Jah I have seen the changes (slight as they may be).

I am also trying to get over a relationship with chocolate (the bad-kind, like Reeses peanut butter cups, Hersey's cookies and cream and the oreos in the pantry right now [I can hear them whispering to me] luring me to their blue and white plastic figure].

But seriously, healthy living is something that I am trying very very very hard to make into a lifestyle for myself, my family and friends. Not because I have an obsession with flavourless cooking, hate meat, or an affinity for queer looking fiber based food. Frankly, I love yummy shit...(the four-cheese and mushroom pizza from French Verandah; a nice medium steak with cheesy mashed potatoes on the side; or a good ole rice and peas wid coconut milk swimming in the gravy of the stewed chicken on top, oh geesh and some fry plantain).

But these things are not unhealthy in moderation, but our culture does not preach moderation when it comes to good food.."eat man eat, plenty lef back in de pot."

How many times have we been plied with laden plates from family, friends and even in the homes of strangers, who then insist on seconds and thirds. And some people thrive for such occurences. I am repeatedly fascinated by an uncle whose stomach has the capacity of a giant, inhaling large portions of every dish on the groaning buffet table at family gatherings or the co-workers husband who never fails to embarass her with his singular focus of meeting some unknown Guiness Book of Records standard.

To some extent, my denial of the need for a healthy lifestyle plays back to when I was 14 and I envisioned myself to be the fattest person ever. The depise that I held for my body, mind and soul led to 2 years of self-inflicted abuse (my version was binging and bulimia). I am proudly self-diagnosed and treated and healed from that torture chapter of my life.

After I entered into the self-love phase of my life, I regarded all things addressing my body as being obsessive and having the potential to lead me back to sticking things down my throat to rid myself of the entire packet of Fudge Shoppe that I had snuck into my bedroom. With the exception of a stint with pilates and Atkins in my 2nd and 3rd year in university, I was content to ensure that I didn't outgrow my clothing, at the most. Plus, I may die from something else altogether unrelated to the contents of my plate, my cyncism shrugged at me.

Then I looked at Food Inc. and I have forced myself to look within. My claims of being the independent, assertive woman with a whollistic perspective on life is to naught if I do not force myself to address the things that escape my own comfort zone. Why try to balance work and play if not for a better quality life? Then why should food be dismissed from the line-up of target goals?

So this is my new compulsion...I read label voraciously and I have bookmarked too many sites on healthy eating and living. I'll admit easily, that I do shrug the bells in my head at times, like when I ate that almond snickers last weekend or the crap at my desk because the files were piled high. But the overall goal remains the same...try not to do anything to myself that would harm me in anyway. Let someone else have that task.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

The powers that be...

Within the last year, my thoughts on governance have undergone septic shock. I have become warped in my distrust of purported leaders, I see them as merely vying for a championship trophy rather than conducting themselves with the best interests of the team in mind.

Ralph spouted over 5 years ago that he was only running for 2 terms but now he is clearly gearing up for a third. Blame my political naivete and my tendency to accept statements that, on their face, seem genuine. I was looking forward to see the grooming of a successor, the passing on of the mantle of power, the releasing of fresh blood into the political landscape.

My waiting has been but in yearning yet to be sated...I lay restless like an unsatisfied woman.

Rather he has become the Okonkwo of our times...a great man whose hubris will only fuel his self-destruction. He has held onto every government ministry, department, office...made speeches at too many events and frankly many of us are tired of hearing his "rhetoric" as the Vincentian editioral phrased it.

Where is the statesmanship that we saw in Sir James? Even though we know he also did not want to face a terrific defeat in 2001.

Because of this I thought that it would be virtually impossible for the ULP to remain as the dominant political party, despite the shit that the NDP handed out to the people in the name of Parliamentary representation. They served to boost his ego...their absences from the House gave him more time to talk, pontificate and dramatise. But maybe there was method to their madness...sacrifice being the elected official that you are but allow Ralph to metamorphasise into a fascinatingly despicable man. Not to forget their splendid display of guerrilla warfare during the No campaign.

But then this week, I read the account of Patrick Ferrari who claims that he was threatened by Moulton Mayers because of what was supposedly anti-Ralph sentiment on the part of PF. I wasn't there, like most of us, and we are left with a decision as to whether we will accept or shurg off that story. I'll be honest (and here comes my naivete again)...I am tending to believe PF.

But it hits me really hard...Ralph is not the only one fighting to remain. The fact that anyone would DARE threaten the life of another human being in the name of preserving a political leader is mind-boggling. Is this what we have been reduced to? Threats...the flashing of firearms? But then I remember, we have a PM who said he would make SVG inhospitable to persons that have the potential to challenge his political strategies.

Is it a twisted belief that he is still capable of leadership of this nation? Or is it a need, a dependency on the man that demands that they use all and every option to ensure his preservation? The powers that be seem to be floating among us, not always evident to the naked or well-placed eye.

It goes back to my blog on "perpetuating the state of stagnation". Our leaders dish out so many favours and guarantee so many livelihoods, that the maintenance of the status quo means the guarding of a man that can secure this standard of living. Meritocracy remains a pleasant idea.

The sad part is that we, the masses, are the victims. We truly suffer at the hands of men who plead, beg and buy our vote. Representation continues to be an unlearned art and a unfamiliar concept.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

And she will yet dear people

I dare make a prediction/prophecy/logical deduction.

Anesia O. Baptiste will yet fall.

Was Baptiste wrong?...yes she was. The regulations exist and she has breached them. This much is true regardless to whether you think the regulations should be done away with or whether she has been handpicked to be the victim of legality.

This has to irk some people...because we have become sopranos with the I-hate-Ralph chorus that anyone and anything that stands against him...we cling to. And the greatest example of that is the NDP.

In their eagerness to display youthful support and rein in as much anti-Constitution Bill 2009 venom, they have latched onto an opportunist...a religious one at that.

Freedom ass.

I warned many around that the girl was just accepting the platform that tolerated her views; but only for the moment in time; that she would soon embark upon her own path of leadership and those that placed her there will be spat upon in the name of her divine yearning for the spotlight. She shut down E G Lynch on his own program.

They blazed the streets of Kingstown a couple Thursdays before and 'rallied' their forces for her. But they reared back at the vision of the tornado that they have been wallowing in for the last several months...they have now seen the Wicked Witch of the West and they are trying to silently retreat. They were shocked by her declarations of divine empowerment, spiritual superiority and feverish seemed not even human, especially with the pinched face of her husband at her side. They seem now to realise the threat she poses to them as well, the uncontrollable virago.

You see Arnhim and his posse came out to support her but had no idea that the Baptiste would use this as yet another platform to catapult her into the favour of the people. Let us keep it real...most of us observed them with disdain before...with au natural image, the long flowing garb and the intense proclamations of being the true followers of the Sabbath.

She must dispel the disquiet within us and weave us into her victimization story, and before we know it she will be spewing the same filth in the best English and genteel manner as she does the ULP.

Telling us how to dress, when to attend the one and true Church where men are separated from the women, how to maintain a neat, coiffed hairdo with only a touch of Church-sanctioned essence a theocracy [].

I know it will never happen but it would seem as if she believes she has the ability to succeed in doing many of our youths and disillusioned adults would fall prey to this religion that claims freedom as its mantle yet remains intolerant of all nay-sayers?

Thank you NDP for launching another element into the politically, socially and culturally misfit society we live in - not for the better but a part of one of the worst periods in Vincentian history, my dear people.

Friday, March 12, 2010

How dare you interrupt my delicate senses

Can you hear the clanging cymbals distracting our minds from the polluted lyrics of the sadistic entity called government and the warring faction called the opposition?

Can you hear the echoes of silence on things that matter and the hollow resonance on things that count?

Can you you feel the weight of a palm pressing ever so blatantly against our skulls trying to dull our ears from the truth?

Can you feel the oppression of thought, peace, civility and wisdom?

Can you smell the festering wounds of a lame government who insists on fraternizing with the healthy?

Can you smell the heated metal of opposition weaponry glancing through the air slicing into those same wounds - the wafts of sharpness causing us to rear back in distaste yet peering closer in fascination?

Can you see the leaders, both real and potential, reeling under the sway of the intoxication of a dry robust wine labeled power and staggering from the effects of a citrusy wine called almost power?

Can you see the masses, clawing to be whipped, chained, dragged and branded in their misguided yearning for belonging, favour and acknowledgment?

Have you tasted the bitter residue of an abused nation that deserves better?

Have you tasted the choking smoke of ignorance flavouring our media diets?

I am a woman and I am privileged with the sixth sense of intuition.

Within me, I see us spiraling down...and I can see no one with the ropes, hooks and safety net to catch us much less carry us back up?

Where is the change, what is the difference between yellow and red?

For once, I am deigned to be chaste.

Hesitant in releasing my privilege.

Cautious with my ability to empower someone by gracing them with the honour of my stained index finger.

I want to reclaim my electoral virginity
for I shudder at what I have allowed into my
realm of consciousness.
But I fear political
celibacy is the highest floor to attain for
I have been tainted, sullied and bruised by their whorish acts.

We are falling out of love with this country.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

There's a Brown-e boi in the ring

I heard a BROWN-E BOY running for labour pains this round of elections...but I feel he is being hemorrhaged but it don't seem like he realise he getting it good and hard from behind.

What is his work experience? - nil....the boy has been all academics and no practical elbow grinding for the last ten years of his life. He has not cut his teeth on anything to prove capability. I tell you somebody tell that boi he bright....(Yes, I know he brilliant). But there is a difference between feeling you bright (feeling you capable, able and willing beyond realistic notions) and brilliant (the ability to establish goals and pursue them with excellence and wisdom).

And hear the greatest part of the comedy of errors...the part of the joke where you lose the ability to breathe and your stomach feels like it is hitting your spine...he is running against Eustace.

Please tell me BROWN-E BOY knows that he is being made into a scape goat...I secretly think that he pissed off the Comrade and this is the execution of vengeance of the highest sort. I can't swear for the electorate but knock knock...I think he going to lose...and lose bad. And if his speeches of the referendum are any indication...he going to rude during the process.

Why these young people want to be so damn hungry?...eager to join up the ranks of political misnomers...enroll in the academy of deception of the masses and the delivery of mediocre representation.

Now, I am not saying that he should not involve himself if he feels so led to don the colour of blood. But just suppose they make him a senator to sate the bruised ego...he not going to have a ministry because it seems that sunshine will be running through the veins of Vincentians after the next round of the melee called general elections. So he will still be without substantial work experience.

I heard he once declared that he would be the youngest Prime Minister...but he have to fight the Thusian to see who making which record first...she is on lemon roll, with plenty tanginess

And I think the GG was throwing words at BROWN-E BOY when they were swearing in Ces McKie as Senator this week...he called Ces 'young and bright'. He said people who are young and bright feels like the world is theirs for the taking...the sky is the limit. Is BROWN-E BOY he talking bout...I not stupid. And BROWN-E BOY grinning there with Comrade and the Beauty Queen. At least the Beauty Queen smart...she work her ass off (really though she worked it on) and get something on her resume besides the higher education accolades. So when she emerges from the running of the bulls (aka elections) - she could get a wuk back in a lawyer office.

Anyway, on lighter things...I find myself gaining an appreciation for blood (the real stuff now) ever since the movie 300...I am always looking for a show with a "beautiful death" the scenes in Starz "Spartacus:Blood and Sand"...I can only say that they are glorious. Not to mention my yearning for HBO's 'True Blood' Season 3 to start...and oh lala...Showtime's "Dexter".
On a serious note...I think my disillusionment with the scarlet hues of our country's governance is leading to a fascination with the shade in the fantasy world...I think I need therapy...Dr.Phil?